4 Kids…Too Many?

Yup, I have a problem.  I have friends who are about to pop and I see lots of amazing bellies around me.  No, not really envying how it feels to carry around that bowling ball between your legs, but having some major issues with baby clothes bins, watching my baby grow up and thinking, “Is this it?”

“Is this it?”  What is that supposed to mean?  Am I happy?  Yes.  Is my life crazy?  Ummmm, hell yes.   It is C.R.A.Z.Y. dragging little brothers to ballet and soccer, working, trying to work my way up and over on the teacher pay scale, wondering how/when/if I would ever be able to stay home.

Annie, you’re 34 years old with 3 kids, probably never going to be a SAHM…

3 kids.  Blessed.  But what about all the cute girl stuff packed away in boxes on the 3rd floor?  What about a sister for Emily?  I bring it up a lot and Emily says,  “Would you be all set with just one more?”  LOL.  I wonder where she’s heard that.

Yup, I’m one of 4.  Girl, boy, boy, girl is how my mom did it.  She has always said I will end up like her with one more.  But how?  What if it’s not a sister for Emily?  Of course I love my boys.  But is wanting a sister for Emily enough reason to go for #4?

Nope, I’m not pregnant.  Thank you, Jesus.  But I’m not so sure about this baby thing.  I listen to so many other moms tell me “We are DONE.”  They say it with such certainty.  What is wrong with me?

Should I have another baby? Some insights as to what goes through some of our minds. www.stowedstuff.com

We can’t afford college for 4.  What am I, nuts?  Does everyone feel like this after 3?  How do you know when you’re DONE?  How do you really know?  Or is it that I’m obsessed with the little tiny things called babies?  They do grow up, I know.  They’re not kittens.  That year of baby goes by way too fast.  But don’t they keep you young?  That’s what my mom always told me.  I kept her young.

Emily is turning 6 next month.  Six years old.

Brothers are cool.  Would I go for #5 if I didn’t get Em a sister on the next go?  Is this a disease?

What is wrong with me?  Family vacations?   Restaurant booths?  Stow, party of 6 would be a bit much, right?  But we’d still fit in the Traverse…

Oh, the Lord save us.


  1. 2

    Amy Farrell (BostonTwinMommy) says

    I like even numbers… I was one of three and think four is a great idea (says the girls who is *swamped* with only two!) :)

  2. 3

    Jessica says

    I admit I'm glad we're expecting a girl because it means less pressure on whether to have #3 or not. I've been so firm on stopping at 2 lately, but I also happen to be pregnant and chasing a toddler around and working. We'll see if I change my tune in a couple years when I have no babies anymore.

  3. 4

    Anonymous says

    I too have three children, two girls and a boy and am on the fence as to whether or not I want another one. I think my heart will always want another one but then the practical side of me sets in. 4 is a lot in today's world. I am also the youngest of 4 and always said I would have 4 but am now not so sure. Just not sure I am done either. Everyone I know who has four seem to be stretched to the limit and that is intimidating. Also, "bookends" like you are going for are very hard to get statistically. The friends I have who have 4 were actually looking for girl, boy, boy, girl and now have girl and 3 boys. Not that it matters once you hold those little babies in your arms. I never cared on the gender but if I went for a fourth I would like a boy to even it out…but is that a reason? Why care about gender now..does that mean accept what I have since you can't pick. ugh who knows? Good luck!! Every week my opinion changes. :-)

  4. 5

    Diane T says

    I'm right there with you! It's so hard to watch my "last" baby (#3) growing in to a toddler. Practically 4 is not possible for us but it doesn't mean that I don't think about it (more than I should!) and yearn for another little one. Must stop thinking about it, must stop thinking about it!

  5. 6

    Annie says

    I'm so glad I'm not alone on this. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Anonymous, stretched thin is exactly what scares me. How did our parents do it? And I think you're right about the boys…once you get them, are you likely to keep getting BOY? I need to read up on this. LOL! There were a few days where I thought I was done. But it only lasted a few days…and the older they get, the bigger the demands, right?

  6. 10

    Megan says

    Well the joke in our house was "remember when we wanted a brother and got Megan instead" I'm one of 4 girls. We are officially done at 3 and I am giving away the baby stuff as soon as it is out grown. I am sad at how fast time flies and how close to being a toddler my youngest is, but I know it's the right decision for us. Part of it is selfish in that I've finally lost the weight I put on after 9 years of marriage and I can't help but look forward to eventually having more time for me. Don't get me wrong, I don't want these precious moments with my youngest to go by too fast, but it's those thoughts that reinforce the "we're done" decision.

  7. 11

    Annie says

    More time for yourself…SO true. That's what puts me on the other side of the fence some days. Is that what the logical ppl with 2 are also thinking? Probably. It's A LOT of work!

  8. 12

    Anonymous says

    So agree with everyone's comments. We have 3 but are so on the fence on a 4th but geez 4 kids seem like a lot! Really would love my daughter to have a sister but my husband says that pretty much means we would en up with another boy. That's ok too. Just lve idea of having a big family.

  9. 13


    Found you via the Honest Mom link up!

    We’re currently pregnant with #4. After #3 was born I was SURE we were done, and then the bug hit me and here we are… But I honestly think 4 is IT, even if this one is another boy (3 boys… Oh man.). I’m lucky enough to be a Stay at Home Mom, and college is something we’ll encourage, but not insist upon (my husband went through vocational school for his amazing career). I am afraid that if we permanently prevent having more kids though I’ll want another baby in a year or two, though. I really hope I get that absolutely certain feeling once this baby is here.

  10. 14


    I have 5 kids, and I will tell you that I now know that I am done. Part of it might be my age—pregnancy was much easier at 25 than 35. And while I love having a large family, it’s not easy or cheap. That being said, it IS awesome. I have only ever heard people regret NOT having more kids. Follow your heart. It will all work out. My 2 cents, Erin

  11. 15

    Rebecca says

    When I was 34 I had three children. Now I have seven. Don’t regret a single one. Each one made life for all of us better. College? My dad was a mechanic and didn’t pay for me or any of my siblings to go to college, but we did. My brother got his PhD from the University of Notre Dame.

  12. 16

    donja says

    I have four. O e is my step child. My husband got a vesectomy and I still want more. I am over welmed stressed and depressed. But I still have the urge all.most a calling to have more children. I have detachment disorder. I have never related to or lo ed anything they way I do my kids. I k ow the depression. Got worse after the vesectomy. It was his choice but I felt kinda ripped off. He was done. I was not. I understand that voice urging you to have more and more.

  13. 17


    Great, great thoughts, Annie (especially knowing the “outcome”); I’d say the number of kids in the family you grew up in- does influence your sense of “normal” and “can do” here. (I am coming from a 2 kid family and always knew I would have 2- although my kids are 10 yrs apart). I cannot say that I don’t think or long for another baby (ever since my little girl turned 3) but my own age is definitely a show stopper:)- amongst a myriad of other reasons already mentioned:)
    Victoria@weekend celebrations recently posted…YOU WANT TO LEARN WHAT? ……THERE IS A CLASS FOR THAT!My Profile

  14. 18

    January Oliver says

    I am 37..&have been mothering for 20 years of my life now.I had my first @,barely 18 ..was a single mom for 11 years..met my husband and now have 4 children under 8 including a newborn..(just turned 1 month)
    The clenched is that my husband has become disabled in the last 2 years .
    Our newest baby was basically an oops!
    All the domestic responsibilities are on me..
    I run a business and need my income for our survival..
    My husband has had 12 doctor visits in 1 month..leaving very little time for his help..what little he can assist with anyway..
    All of this aside…when I found out I was pregnant this last time..with number 4..
    I freaked out..
    But..now she is here..
    The house is dirty..my hair is a mess..
    Some nights we eat sandwiches for dinner..
    But..I really believe …we won’t remember those nights..won’t remember the house..
    But will remember the love and team work it takes to pull off a hard situation..
    Best of luck

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge