You should cut your baby boy’s hair.
She shouldn’t have a binky.
Your kid is over-scheduled.
Why aren’t your kids in bed?
Your toddler isn’t rear-facing?
You didn’t breastfeed?
You let them watch that?
Not potty trained yet?
He shouldn’t be eating that.
You’ve got your hands full.
Sometimes it’s just a look. Sometimes it’s words. Sometimes it’s gossip. No matter what it is or who is taking the brunt of the joke or the comment, it hurts.
We seem to be victims of it, yet we still seem to do it ourselves over and over again. We judge. We criticize. We give the looks.
When we sprung these babies out, we had NO idea what we were getting ourselves into and just how hard it would be. Seriously.
Whether you’ve got one or nine, it’s the hardest job you’ll ever have and unfortunately, I’m still digging around for the instruction manual. There are plenty of emotions and feelings at stake though; plenty of them. We rely heavily on ourselves to make the right decisions and do what’s best for our kids. We can read up and do research, ask for advice, listen to others and go with our gut. But no matter what we decide to do in the end, we’ll probably still be judged by someone. “I can’t believe she lets her kids do that. I would never.” And will we continue to judge others?
We try to live up to this idea of being the perfect parent, but the truth of the matter is, that the perfect parents don’t really exist. We are all perfect in our own way, providing love and guidance to our children each and every day, usually without much thanks.
I just love it when people approach me about how well-behaved my kids are when we’re all out at dinner or at dance class.
“Annie, your kids are always so good. Do they ever fight?”
“Haaaa! If you only knew half of it! Do you want to know about the war I had with my seven year old this morning over that shirt he has on? Do you want to see the play back of all the yelling I did on the way out the door? Do you want to know how he got that boo boo on his ear? Do you want to see their summer reading lists?”
Hardest job ever. Perhaps we need to stop comparing. We’re doing an amazing job, guys. We really are. Our kids are going to be alright. A-okay. Maybe even awesome parents themselves one day. (I cannot WAIT for those days, by the way. I know they’ll thank me then.) Oh, and thanks again Mom and Dad. You kinda rocked it.
Let’s stop the so called “mommy wars” and be way more supportive than we ever have been before. It’s not going to be easy, but we sure can try. The first thing you can do is hop on over to the Similac Facebook page and share one thing you will do to to help stop the mommy wars. The Duff sisters are on board. Are you? I think I’m going to start asking that mom in a tizzy if she needs help. We have no idea what others are dealing with and we can’t assume. #SisterhoodUnite.
Kudos to Similac for letting us have this awesome conversation.
Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Similac and The Sisterhood of Motherhood. All opinions are my own.